What do You Learn from Your Mother

My Last Full Family Pic

What do you learn from your mother?What communication lessons did our generation learn from the women that nurtured us through the first MacIntosh(es), Ataris, Nitendos, 50 pound PCs, Internet, Laptops and now, IPADS and Blackberries. Lord knows I hoped I would be nothing like my mother right through my early 20s (circa internet boom days) and then a change of heart…she was not that bad. By the time I lost her, I realised she was great. She could text. She checked her email and loved herself some computer Scrabble. I don’t miss her tech savvy – she was a self professed techno retard…I miss her words and life lessons.

Isn’t it Ironic? A wanna be digital native like me (I could be if you shifted the limits for same a year or two) does not miss the techy aspects of my mom. I don’t miss her email messages or the noise of her yelling at the PC as it “cheated” in Scrabble…nah, I miss her words and voice and lessons. I eh makin dat mistake. I documenting what I want them children to  learn before the born!

I’m not a parent yet (and not pregers – lest I start some new rumor) but if I am so blessed, here’s what I hope my children (read child – the dreams of my own 5 a side team have left me) will learn from me:

  1. Speak  Positively – it can make an awful day great. When I am having a bad day, I often give a PR joking answer when those closest to me ask how I am – I say “WONDERFUL” and I flash that pageant chick smile. It engenders a laugh – usually from the listener and from me…BOOM! At that second, I create a moment of joy in a lacklustre day. So, I hope my children will learn, as my mother taught me, to try to at least speak negatively. Or, to  *gasp* approach each moment with positivity and prayer.
  2. Love with Your Whole Heart. Frank Sinatra says “When somebody loves you, its no good unless they love you, ALL THE WAY”. Mom used to sing that. I now have it in my Ipod and more importantly in my heart. Love unselfishly and wholeheartedly. As language defines your world, say it to the people you love – daily. Love is pointless if not expressed. The world without loving expressions can be desolate.
  3. Work Hard but Vacation Hard too. When this earth lost Denise Maureen, she dreamed of taking a cruise. She never did. Instead she had over a year (yes a year!) of unused vacation. Hmmm…. So, I am an advocate of taking vacation and seeing the world and telling the world about it through pictures and *gasp* postcards. I’m a sucker for a post card! I buy them on almost every trip and those fortunate enough to have received them have a snapshot of what I felt at the moment I bought it. My mother framed her postcards. What an incredible legacy of communication. Vacation does not have to mean a visit to Japan (though I highly recommend same). The best vacations are with family or those most special to you – sometimes just spending nothing but time is the best gift of all.
  4. Words can Hurt and Heal: Only the most acrimonious (dictionary!) amongst us would deny the power of the words “It will be alright” when you are going through a challenging time. Few is the man who can say the sting from harsh words spoken in anger does not outlast the pain from a surface wound. Denise Maureen Jones, I regret any words that hurt. If your parent or child is alive, take a moment to communicate that and to pledge to not use words as weapons anymore.

I hope my children will learn these lessons passed down to me from the angel that is my mother, through not just the spoken word, but through actions of love that reinforced the messages. May our generation, with all our technology and doo das, do half as a great a job as our parents did at raising us.

Nurturing generation Y and Z will require less technology and more good old face to face communication with a sprinkling of oral tradition.

Hugs!

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2 Responses to “What do You Learn from Your Mother”

  1. Karen O'Connell Says:

    Dani,
    Thank you so very much for sharing your lessons! Words – written and spoken are the most powerful force on this planet – It changes lives; It can shatter bonds or enslave spirits, build countries or destroy nations, poison minds or heal hurting souls. I pray that we learn to be careful with the utterances of our tongue, the scribble of our pen or these days, the messages of our text/emails…that we make the choice, everyday, to always speak words that uplift, transform and heal!

    May God bless and keep you always!
    Luv two thumbs 🙂

  2. Leonardo Torres Says:

    ABSOLUTELY love this piece…not to mention your great choice of words! lol! 🙂

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